Lady Isabel Burton

This internet award is given by Jupiter Jones in recognition of outstandingly brave attempts to translate to or from Latin, honouring those who have gone on in the face of almost insurmountable ignorance to prove that discretion is the better part of valour.  The award itself is dedicated to the memory of Sir Richard F. Burton’s wife; who, after his death, burned his manuscript translation of Catullus (amongst other things).

July 2004

1. A Short Guide to the Enochian Language, by Alex Sumner (V.H. Frater Justificatus).

URL: http://www.geocities.com/alex_sumner/lingo.htm (link no longer valid – see below)
Award Citation: For attempting to pour pitiless scorn on another whilst making an egregious error in the process.
Quote from website: Some even, fancying themselves linguists, have tried to analyse the language in a scholarly manner, and have committed some atrocious canards in the process. E.g. In "The Golden Dawn", Regardie quotes Brodie-Innes talking about "flamen dialis", apparently a title of the Priest of Jupiter, claiming that "dialis" is genitive of no known nominative, whereas one of the three mystical names of God on the Earth tablet is "Dial". Hence the cult of Jupiter was somehow inspired by Enochian Magick. This is complete and utter rubbish. Brodie-Innes obviously never bothered to look up "dialis" in a Latin dictionary, or he would have found that it is not a noun, but an adjective. It is a fifth declension nominative (i.e. subject) form - nothing to do with the genitive (i.e. possessive) - it simply means "daily". Hence, "flamen dialis" = "Daily Priest," i.e. the Priest whose turn it was to serve in the temple on any particular day.
Comments: Dialis does mean “of Jupiter” (from Dis – not Dial – in Diespiter; orig. Sanskrit divas, thence L. divus), and it is only punningly connected in literature with dies, “a day”.  [Source: Lewis & Short.]
Notes: To his credit, this particular essay was taken off the website a few hours after I notified the author of his error, with a note: “I have gone astray like a lost sheep: seek Thy servant; for I do not forget Thy commandments.”

August 2004

2. Ordo Svmmvm Bonvm

URL: http://www.svmmvmbonvm.org/atriumosb.htm
Award Citation: For vitiating the current of an entire magickal order by mistranslating the name.
Comments: The claim is that Ordo Svmmvm Bonvm translates as “The Svmmvm Bonvm Organization”; however, it actually translates as “Arrangement is the Greatest Good”, or “The Order is the Summum Bonum”.  It is probably too late to change the name to Ordo Summi Boni.
Notes: It is unlikely that anyone who is not put off from this Order by the fact that one of their inviolable rules is “Do not have a face” will be concerned that the name of the Order is also nonsense.

3. HiddenGod

URL: http://www.hiddengod.org/Xeperu-A.htm
Award Citation: For managing to repeat pleonasm, grammatical falsity and lack of linguistic imagination in a single phrase.
Quote from website: Necronomicon Ex Mortis
Comments: “Necronomicon Ex Mortis” is usually translated as “The Book of the Dead”.  Despite the fact that the simple Greek title “Necronomicon” provides a different and more interesting translation, it was apparently necessary to insert the redundant and grammatically incorrect “Ex Mortis”, for those whose ignorance of Greek matches that of their Latin.  The phrase “Ex Libris” springs to mind, if only because it was probably the inspiration behind this triumph of crapulence.  (Either that, or because of the fact that “ex” occasionally appears after its noun, and therefore possibly before the word “mortis” – confusing?)  “Libris”, of course, is in the (yawn!) ablative case (correct for the preposition “ex”), whereas “mortis” is, unfortunately, not.  “Mortis”, which means “of death”, doesn’t require a preposition; and even if it did (in case of ambiguity), the preposition would be “de”, as in “de morte”.
Notes: The editor, whomever it was, probably thought it would sound better as it is.  It is, unfortunately, a modern disease for the editor of a work to be far less interesting than the subject matter; but at least Hymenaeus Beta tends to keep his literary remarks in footnotes.

4. HiddenGod

URL: http://www.hiddengod.org/dex.htm (the site is now defunct)
Award Citation: For proving that time is no barrier to ignorance (1975–2004), and that spelling doesn’t matter when the sentence doesn’t make sense.
Quote from website: Dedication On the One Hundredth anniversary of the Nativity of the Poet ALEISTER CROWLEY 1875-1975 Ad Meiomrum Cthulhi Gloriam [sic]
Comments: Despite the fact that I’m almost sure that Crowley would be dead chuffed to receive such an honourable dedication in a book allegedly written by an insane conjuror, actually written by a creator of “fictional sludge monsters”, and produced by an allegedly dead sludge monster and Caliphate grandee, I am prepared to offer some remarks on the few Latin words here quoted.
   The words “Ad Meiomrum Cthulhi Gloriam” may sound like “Ad Gloriam Rosae Crucis” or “In Memoriam...”.  This is evidently the intention, but the execution is somewhat vague.  It is not my intention to provide an accurately derived declension for the word “Cthulhu”, since the dignity of the subject matter is somewhat beneath my station; however, I am willing to go on record as saying that the genitive case of this large skulking vagina should almost certainly not be formed with the addition of the phallic “i” (“Cthulhi”), although I always pretend to have no interest in the private affairs of my readers.
   Is it worth noting that “gloriam” is in the wrong case, or that the preposition “ad” and the word “memorium” – indeed the whole sentence – is wrong?  Anyone who wishes to invoke their own fear of the Masters of the Temple by such methods as are presented in the Necronomicon is evidently incapable of such subtleties; however, a brief note to the effect that the only possible translation of “Ad Memorium Cthulhi Gloriam” would be “To the Glory of the Memories of Cthulhu” should suffice to indicate that even fictional sludge monsters have their pride.

5. Ex Oblivion

URL: http://www.exoblivion.com/
Award Citation: For keeping the Latin language alive by adding new word-forms to it.
Quote from website: Ex Oblivion Omnia Fit [main page] – Ars Galerie [“Occultism” menu] – Corpus Magus [“Occultism” menu] – Corpus Pantheus - the Collection of Religions [“Paganism” menu]
Comments: “Ex Oblivione Omnia Fit”? – “Artis Galeria”? – “Corpus Magicum”? – “Corpus Pantheorum”?
Lingua Latina?  Pocula mea!

September 2004

6. Thelema Lodge Calendar, “The Crime of Edith Cavell”, by Aleister Crowley (Editorial Notes)

URL: http://www.billheidrick.com/tlc2003/tlc1203.htm#cc
Award Citation: For altogether ignoring the English context when guessing at Latin.
Quote from website: In the case of Edith Cavell, however, we need not go so far. She was confessedly aiding belligerents, actual combatants, to escape. She was sending them from a place where they could not kill Germans to a place where they might be able to do so. She did this with the intention that they should kill Germans, and it is to be presumed that some of them actually did so. She might just as well have stood by the men in the trenches and loaded their rifles for them; morally, it is the same position. Her intention was that Germans should be killed; and "Qui facit per alium facit per se" is a sound legal maxim.  {Editorial Notes: Qui facit per alium facit per se. -- "As one does unto others, so likewise for oneself."}
Comments: Clearly this should be: “Who acts through another, acts himself.”

December 2004

7. Ordo Antichristianus Illuminati

URL: http://www.novusordoseclorum-oai.org/
Award Citation: For being the only Order founded by Sir David Cherubim which does not remind the interested reader in every third paragraph that Sir David Cherubim claims to be a member of the A∴A∴ (Third Order), whilst at the same time maintaining a standard of Classical ignorance which Jupiter Jones can ridicule without appearing too pretentious.
Quote from website: The Ordo Antichristianvs Illvminati (O∴A∴I∴) is dedicated to "extend the Dominion of the Law of Thelema throughout the whole world" and to the promulgation of the Occult Mysteries of the "sancta femina." The Magickal Corpus of the O∴A∴I∴ constitutes a Triad with three Grades of Self-Initiation called the Hermit, the Lover, and the Man of Earth. The Corpus of the O∴A∴I∴ derives from the verse "Who calls us Thelemites will do no wrong, if he look but close into the word. For there are therein Three Grades, the Hermit, the Lover, and the man of Earth. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law." (Liber AL vel Legis I; 40). The O∴A∴I∴ serves as an Initiatic Body of the Western Esoteric Traditions, and under a design of Illuminism, to assist the Initiate in the Great Work.
Comments: “Ordo Antichristianus Illuminati” would, I suppose, translate as “Antichristian Order of the Illuminate” (singular).  The spokesman for the Order, Joshua J. Seraphim, whilst admitting the problem with the Latin name of the Order, tells us that “The terms ‘Antichristianus’ and ‘Illuminati’ are words not native to Latin dialect, ‘Illuminare’ (to make bright) and ‘christianus’ [sic] (A Christian) are the closest terms we have.”
   Jupiter Jones, for his own part, is inclined to agree that “Antichristianus” is a part of the degenerate newfangled Medieval Latin tradition which gave us such infernal horrors as “a large part of the English language”, as well as perhaps the greatest Latinist of them all, the Venerable Bede.  Unfortunately, being dead, Bede is unable to comment upon Jupiter Jones’ placement of the verb, or decide whether an Antichristian angel would take up more room on the point of Aquinas’ pin than a sanctified Illuminate; or, indeed, adjudicate on the question of whether or not Adam Weishaupt/George Washington really did give “Illuminatus” a queer genitive.

8. Liber AL vel Legis Mysterium Iniquitatis.

URL: http://bookoflaw276.tripod.com/
Award Citation: For displaying greater contempt for Hebrew than ignorance of Latin.
Quote from website: RPS is the word sepher (i.e., written word), or sephar (i.e., spoken word) depending on the context and how the translator decides to point it.
Comments: First of all, “Liber AL vel Legis Mysterium Iniquitatis” is evidently just “Liber AL vel Legis” (i.e., “The Book AL; or, of the Law”) with something else tacked on to the end of it that makes a nonsense of it, turning it into “The Book AL, or the Mystery of the Injustice of Law”.  What is intended is probably something like “The Book of the Law: The Mystery of Iniquity” – a conjuction like “etiam” might do the job.  [This suggestion was later taken up by Frater Nothing.]  Secondly, neither RPS (רפס) nor SPR (ספר) signifies the noun “a word”, and no amount of lexical incompetence, nor any loose translation of the Sepher Yetzirah or any other book, will alter the fact.